Current Lit: Little Brother - Cory Doctorow
Current Music: Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End (What Shall We Die For?) - Hans Zimmer
Next Up Lit: Not sure, possible some Kerouac. That or i'll re-read Dune. Again.
Next Up Music: Possible more PotC. But probably some Ingrid Michaelson before bed.=)I started this blog to get back into the groove of writing, to get something written everyday. To start a writing habit. And yet, here it is over a year later and this blog has been sitting dormant for over a year.
Gathering little piles of cyber-dust and strings of cyber-cobwebs woven by little malevolent cyber-spiders who laugh at my lack of commitment to the written word.
I'm sitting down and looking over it with a forlorn disgust for myself.
Why can I never take up writing the way i want to?
In highschool I wrote story after story. Sometimes the task shared amongst friends, mostly just by myself in composition books with cardboard covers and college lined paper. I wrote in black ink and always felt a thrill when the ink marked the clean white page with my words and thoughts and dialogue.
OH! Dialogue. I could spend hours trying to get the perfect phrase, and then just have it come to me. I was awash in one liners.
And now?
Now, my prompt a day website lies abandoned and moldering in a dark back alley where no one reads it, and i pretend it doesn't exist.
And why?!
I read with a voraciousness that often astounds. The written word captivates and arouses and denies. It soothes and frightens and amuses. I am utterly enraptured by it. I am drugged, sated, captured, addicted.
So why, when I want so badly to let the stories that tumble around in my head spill out into the actual world where they can provide that same solace to others, can i not?
Fear, i think, is the answer. As it is most times.
I'm terrified that what i pour out of my heart and soul will be substandard, and therefore I will be substandard by association.
I've tried time and again to commit to writing everyday, and failed.
I will not promise again.
However,
I will promise to write here as often as i feel able. To let the words spill out of me, and hopefully become something more than me.
In the end, i think that's all any of us can promise, really.
