butterfly

i am caught
captor's hand pressed firmly
upon my wings
as he sets the pins in place
and i bleed

trapped once more
by my own folly
i flew into this
cage of my own will

now i drown in
the desire to sail away
become glittering dust

i struggle against this issue
of trust
and let the pins bind me down
pierce sinew and crown

and weep
for lack
lack of clarity

the clarity of
freedom

as i am bound
to this card
and put upon display
just another butterfly in
this case


gilded wings trimmed and
glossed

i give freely what is taken
what is taken

but this quiet voice of reason,
is counted
merely as loss. 

narcotic

i am
the goddess of destruction
pressed firm beneath your fingertips
crushed into
lemon scented
dust

i am
crystalline
fine fragments of reality
that you breathe in

hallucinations
of tomorrow
swim
forever forward
blue and green
full of the promise of
happiness

but i am
the goddess of
oblivion
pressed to powder
by your will

i dance upon your fingertip
haunted
hunted
chained
and i weep golden red tears
that could heal the world

second skin
like iced coffee
touch my lips and taste
arsenic


do you
find
the dark liquid of my soul
to be
too thick
to traverse?

do you
find yourself
standing upon the shore
longing to see the other side
but tasting only midnight?

i am not a lantern
to be hung upon your prow
no

i am
the Morrigan
come to take your soul

I am not a saviour
come to hold your hand
come to heal

i am the goddess of
destruction

i can
i will
i must

tear you apart.

Despite Our Mutual Dislike

I write "Oblivate"
in large curling letters
over your name
and then burn the paper under
the full moon

hopefully your
dark
aquiline face
will fade away
and neither of us will remember
how you betrayed
a basic trust

I write
"Obliviate"
over your image

the one of you in the sand
looking for all the world
like a dark knight prince
devoid of armor and
lost along the sea coast

alone

i get ink on my fingers
stained deep into the
whorls
and it burns
psychic pain
that delves deep into the
quiet places of my heart

I write "Obliviate"
and laugh,
finally
as i burn to ashes
the meager
contributions
you gave

as the ashes
blow away
in the sea breeze

i blow away
in the sea breeze

free.

amalgam

i am
blood

drawn in thin red lines of hatred and
despair

loneliness that kills
slowly
despite the presence of warmth

i am
tears
hidden by burning hot
shower spray
choked down and
devoured by
animal instinct

i am
solitude
in a crowded room
wide clear eyes
seeing everything
saying nothing
evaluating and dismissing

i am
pain
suffered and
borne
and denied
and repressed
and savored
self-inflicted and

"Oh, little Masochist..."
they say to me,
in the night
closing my eyes
and dripping the
nightshade
Belladonna pain
onto my tongue

revel of spinning dark colors
purple and black
green blue and yellow
bruise flowers blossoming over time.


i am
the Empress
the Fool
the Hanged Man
the Tower.

the ace of spades
and the queen of hearts.

i am everything
you tasted and
sought
and touched.

swirling vaporous through your
nightfields and
leaving behind the seeds of
desire
that you drown in
formidable dispassionate 
haste

facade.

i am
a tangle
mixed bag, cluttered mess
botched collage
a ramshackle hodgepodge
of whimsy and terror
sugared candy glass fragments of a little girl's heart.

lastly, of course,i am
nothing
at all.



not windfall
or starlight
not mile
nor inch
i am not
kitten
not caterpillar
Linnet
nor Finch.

I am not copper
not silver
not platinum
nor gold.

i am not beauty
nor beast
warmth,
nor cold.

Just
a girl,
without mission
without purpose
without place.

just a girl
silent girl
with no tears on her face.

Apathy

I don't care.
I just don't.
I am floating through my life, barely existing, and it is starting to scare me.
Somewhere, inside, i am screaming, but i can't bring myself to react.
My psyche is dampened, encased in glass and a narcotic fog.

Nothing I do seems to result in reaction.
I am not even being, merely occupying space and time and not...
not...
anything.


Apathetic.
That is all, mere apathy.

and the me trapped inside that glass narcotic fog is screaming

"please...please...
react."

Again?

you wrote me a poem
in blood
and i felt it
pour beneath my skin

but you're gone now
i can no longer feel your
breath

I awake screaming
frightened by the night spectors that
haunt me now

your voice echoes

and i tremble
there is nothing left to do
but wait

i always return to you
you always return me to

bittersweet

You screamfightbruise
against the edges of the world
trying to press in to
conform you to their
ideals.

you don't
conform
you burn their

norms


I closed my eyes and,
hope.

Intoxication

I come home

in the dim morning light

beside you

laughing

at an inside joke

no one else understands

as we dance through the front door and fall

upon each other

we don't even make it to the bedroom

the alcohol runs

through our veins

making us

crave

we pour into each other like

light into dawn

starlight into darkness

i shimmer and you burn

I smile into your possessiveness

like it's all I ever wanted

It rains

and we stay beneath the sheets

all day

and give into the cliché

exploring the boundaries

of our skin

and how much we can take

you make me

crave

and I fall to pieces

in your hands

you smile and

I don't even know how we got here

but you undress me

slow

and I know

it's where I am supposed to be

it's tomorrow

and there is a rattle of the door knob

we're in bed and

little heads persist to

awaken

and we laugh

and brush away the lingering

intoxication

we are our each others vacation

this is how we live our lives.