what words are there to say
when you are 31 years old
and you don’t know how to
take up space?
(when
you don't think you
deserve
to take up space?)
when you spent
so many years
learning how to be
someone else?
believe something
else.
say something
else.
wear something
else.
do something
else.
don’t do anything at all.
become small.
learning how to
stay silent
or face
the consequences
when the consequence
is losing your
identity?
it’s
so much more
than
toeing the line
when your every action
is weighed
and weighed and weighed
and still
disappointment
is the outcome.
What words are there to say
when you are 31 years old
and you don’t know who you are?
when you don’t know how to be,
or what you want,
or what you can do?
what words are there
to say
when your personality
is subverted.
when your identity
is subverted.
What words are there to say
when you are a fucking
adult
and you still feel like
a child?
and you still feel like it’s
your fault?
and you can’t claim your
anger,
because you are afraid
of the fallout?
What words are there to say?
I am enough.
I am worthy of love.
I am creative
and kind
and compassionate
and good
and I have given
and given
and given
until there is nothing left of me
to give
and i think it’s time
to start
taking
up
space.
