Flames

the fire burns when i touch it. Hot and true. I let it.
Its better than acknowledging the pain of losing...again.
I cling to the pain with trembling fingertips.
Let the tears fall, ignored.
it hurts less to wound than it does to admit defeat

so i bleed
i burn
i hide my fear
and my sadness
behind this facade
once more.

I scream behind my mask of sanity and
pray to all the gods i dont believe exist.

I cry out for some kind
of retribution


but to no avail.

there is no response
only the sound of my tears
choked back down my throat
swallowed with animal instinct
pride

and the rapid
pumppumppump
of  my heartblood begging me for action

and the quiet
quiet sound
of the locks clicking shut in my mind

locking it all
away

And then....

Your heart breaks with each pump of blood, because you suddenly and fully understand....you made the wrong choice.

A strength all her own

Dawn revives her
she tries to fight through
but its so hard to hold on
to the things not new

times makes things
rust
crumble
erode

pulls from our hands
the things we will hold

"That's life and that's living,"
under her breath.

She walks on with her head raised,
back straight,
she knows that tomorrow is never too late.

Mirror

I see your face
and i weep
angels and demons
can not put right the pieces that have fallen
apart

this shattered art
stained glass windows and
fragments of sea glass

the screaming inconsistency of your absence
knowing it is not you who is gone

broken keyboard words repeal
sometimes i can not feel
but i try

I stretch out my wings and shiver
in morning light without you
knowing that
without you
i can fly

And i laugh when i hear your words
because they are my words
you have stolen

like you have
stolen
so much

time
effort
love

If only i could begrudge you that
love and tea
sympathy

but i close my eyes and
smile
sunlight and shadows

a lie