sometimes
like fire
like ice
i miss the slender hips of you and
the wide spaded palms of you
and the careful look behind the blue summer promise of your eyes
when you laughed loud and thought
you might be judged for laughing
worried about how you might be percieved.
i miss the wit beneath your tongue
the intelligence in your tie twist words
spilling out of your mouth
pouring into me
i miss the passion of you
and the hope you kindled
ember bright
in your heart
beneath layers and layers
of self loathing and
the irrevocable compulsion to live up to standards you had set yourself
hadnt known had been set.
i miss the midnight quiet breath of you
and the sweat of you
and the dirt and the grease and the capability
beneath the nails of you.
i miss the red summer gold glint of you
i miss the life of you
when we were alive
flicker bright
for an instant.
sometimes i even miss
the fear of you
striking out
driving away
denying
gods all above
how i miss you
sometimes.
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