Words

If i say it three times, will that make it real?
I won't miss you
I can't miss you
I don't
miss you

It's an idea i miss
the taste of the promise of summer
so suddenly torn from my grasp

and now
this is all i have left
a few words on a page
a few tears i refuse to cry
the sound of your voice fading into memory
fading out

It's not as though it was perfect
or
sparkling clear and
halcyon

but
the promises you made with your eyes
the lies i fell for because you believed them

I wish i had never tasted the promise of summer
had never stumbled into your arms and found everything i was looking for

and then realized it was all a hoax
and lie
a facade that you wear
to protect your fragile heart
to deny that your heart is fragile
and to
shield others from

seeing how much you hate
yourself

tomorrow dawns and i
go
i do
i achieve
and i try to forget that
i let myself love you
and never said a single word